I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
