is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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