It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
