I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
