Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
