My friends, they love my intelligence
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
