KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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