But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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