How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
