so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
