so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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