the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
