How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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