he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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