i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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