Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
