Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
