i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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