all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
