My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
