did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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