He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
