Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
