is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
