I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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