if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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