We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
