If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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