your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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