We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
