He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
