I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
