he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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