our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
