I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
