I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
