Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
