David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
