he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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