chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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