She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
