What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
