I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
