Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Vodka?
Forever.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
