i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I smell like Dick and happiness
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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