I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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