OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
