How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
