It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
