Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
