Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
