Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
