He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
