How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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