Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You can't motorboat a personality
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
