She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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