Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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