Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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