He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
