BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
